The Really Bad Day (transcript)
Script *''(Timmy asleep, snoring in his bed)'' *'Wanda' Timmy! (pokes him with her wand) Wakey wakey! *'Timmy' Huh? What? What's up? *'Cosmo' You are, Timmy! Today's a very special day! *'Timmy:' Oh boy! Is today the day we send Vicky hurtling into a black hole? *'Wanda:' No, but we'll get on that! (takes out tape recorder) Note to self: Vicky. Black hole. Make it happen! *'Timmy:' (looks at alarm clock) Hey, it's almost midnight. Why'd you guys get me up so early? *'Wanda:' (picks Timmy up with a fishing rod) We didn't want you to miss one minute of the fun! *'Timmy:' Fun? What fun? (gets dropped into a butterfly net Cosmo is holding) *'Cosmo:' You know how everyday we're nice, sweet and just so darn cute? (hearts appear in his eyes) *'Timmy:' Uh huh? *'Cosmo:' (Da Rules poofs up) According to the rules, (drops Timmy) for one day every two thousand years we get to be bad! *'Timmy:' Cool! I've always wanted to be bad for a day. When do we start? *'Wanda:' (scoops Timmy up with a fly swatter) Not we, big fella, just one of us. *'Timmy:' Which one's it gonna be? *'Wanda:' Well, it's Cosmo's turn this time. *'Timmy:' When was your last turn, Wanda? *'Wanda:' Do you remember that whole "dinosaurs-becoming-extinct" thing? *'Timmy:' Yeah? *'Wanda:' (bows) Thank you! *'Timmy:' When do you start being bad, Cosmo? *'Cosmo:' Any second now! (looks at his watch) Three, two, one, zero! (changes shape a couple of times until he squeezes out a little curly black beard on his chin) Neato! *'Wanda:' At least he looks better in a beard than I did. *'Cosmo:' Ah-haha! From this point hence, I shall only be known as Cos... uh, mean. Yeah, Cosmean! Ooh! Ah-haha! Go look in your bathroom! *'Timmy:' (peeks inside his bathroom) Hmm, looks the same to me! *'Cosmo:' (poofs in) Oh, but it's not! Behold! (puts his hand in the sink and points his finger to Timmy with dirt on it) Soap scum! Ah-haha! Beware! *'Wanda:' Bravo! Oh, he is bad, isn't he Timmy? *'Timmy:' Uhh... *'Cosmo:' (from the kitchen) Ah-haha! (Timmy and Wanda follow him into the kitchen) Ah-haha! Observe! I have just destroyed all the brussel sprouts! *'Timmy:' So? *'Cosmo:' Oh, uh, in the world? *'Timmy:' So? I hate brussel sprouts. *'Cosmo:' Oh, well uh... (makes faces at Timmy and runs away) *'Wanda:' He stinks, huh? *'Timmy:' Yep. *'Wanda:' This could be a problem. (Da Rules poofs up) It says here that if the bad day isn't used to its fullest, the godparent in question must return for 500 years training at the fairy academy! And you know how mean that drill instructor can be! *'Jorgen' (poofs in) I look forward to seeing Cosmo at the academy. I've got some special plans for him. (holds up snarling dog) This is my dog, Eat. He eats... heads! (holds up another snarling dog) He eats the rest. Haha. (poofs away) *'Timmy:' Oh no! We gotta help Cosmo be bad or we'll never see him again! *'Cosmo:' (rubs his feet on carpet, then goes to touch a cat only to electrocute himself) Oooh. (the cat scratches his shirt) Well, you're ugly! (cries) I'm so... nice! (sobs) *'Timmy:' Cheer up, dude. We'll help you get bad. *'Cosmo:' You will? *'Timmy:' Sure! I wish we could meet the baddest dude in history and have him give you lessons! *'Cosmo:' Ooh, he is bad! *''(Wanda poofs up Genghis Khan and his huns)'' *'Timmy:' (coughs) Well, where is he? *''(an axe was thrown near them; camera points to the person who threw the axe, Genghis Khan)'' *'Genghis Khan' What is this place? *'Wanda:' Guys, meet Genghis Khan: ruler of ancient China and his gang of mongols! *'Timmy:' Hiya, Mr. Khan! You're in my living room! *'Genghis Khan:' Then I will conquer this living room and make it mine! *'Timmy:' No, Mr. Khan, you and your gang of mongols are here to give my friend bad lessons. *'Genghis Khan:' He seems... very nice. *'Cosmo:' Thank you. *'Genghis Khan:' Never say thank you, that is lesson number 1! I shall make you into the most feared out of all my completely mindless mongols. (mongols laugh) *'Cosmo:' Goody! I mean, baddy! *'Wanda:' We'll leave you kids alone! (she leaves the room with Timmy for a six hours) *'Genghis Khan:' It's my pleasure to introduce... (steps aside to reveal) Cosmo Khan! *'Cosmo:' I am Cosmo Khan! *'Genghis Khan:' Yes, I will now use you to help me conquer this world of yours! (laughs) *'Vicky Khan:' Not so fast! (shoves aside the mongols) It is way past your bedtime, mister! *'Timmy:' Who's that? *'Genghis Khan:' My, uh, babysitter. Vicky Khan. *'Timmy:' Wow, Vicky's got a really extended family. *'Vicky:' If we're not out of here in 5 seconds, I'll see to it that your parents ground you and all your little pals from the big yak slaughter next week! (pulls Genghis Khan's beard) *'Mongols:' (gasps) No yak?! *'Genghis Khan:' Uhh... (less manly voice) I have to go now, please. *'Wanda:' No problem! (poofs them all away) *'Timmy:' How do you feel, dude? *'Cosmo:' I am Cosmo Khan! *'Wanda:' Feel any badder? *'Cosmo:' I am Cosmo Khan! *'Timmy:' He seems kinda brainless. *'Cosmo:' Mindless! *'Timmy:' Mindless. *'Wanda:' We have to give him a bad idea quick, there's only a few hours left. *'Timmy:' Well I know the queen of bad ideas! (dials a number on his phone) *'Vicky' (answers while sitting in bed eating bon bons) Hello? *'Timmy:' I'd better disguise my voice. (coughs and speaks in a deeper voice) Good evening. I'm conducting a completely random survey, if you could be really bad for one whole day, what would you do? *'Vicky:' Oh, that's easy. I'd blow up the Earth, haha! *'Cosmo:' Hey, thanks! *'Vicky:' No problem! *'Timmy:' (nervously) Ehehe, that might be a little drastic, don't you think? *'Cosmo:' Haha, are you kidding? It's perfect! I'm off! (flies out the window into space) *'Timmy and Wanda:' No, wait! *''(Cosmo flies around the Earth and turns the Earth into a bomb set to go off)'' *'Male news anchor:' A giant fuse has just appeared on the air that it looks like we've only got a few moments left. How will this affect your holiday weekend, Trish? *'Trish:' Thanks, Ken! *'Timmy:' Oh no, we've created a monster! *'Wanda:' I know, isn't he marvelous? *'Cosmo:' (laughs while the Earth starts to crumble) Hahaha! I am now totally bad! I'm as bad as I wanna be! I'm bad to the bone! I'm... (looks at watch point to midnight) ...done! It's midnight! (turns back to normal) *'Timmy:' Hooray! The bad day is over! *''(the Earth turns back to normal; a rainbow appears around it)'' *'Cosmo:' Well, now that I'm not bad anymore, who wants a lollipop? *'Timmy:' Gee, I sure am glad that's over with, aren't you Wanda? Wanda? *''(a small curly black beard sprouts from Wanda's chin)'' *'Wanda:' My turn! *''(the episode ends with her laughing suspiciously)'' Category:Episode transcripts